The Pamanhikan

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Yesterday we were able to cross out another item off our list. It's nothing else but the nerve-wrecking Pamanhikan. It is a Filipino tradition where in the groom together with his family pays a visit to the bride’s family to formally seek for the girl’s hand in marriage. In this occasion, plans for the upcoming wedding are discussed over a sumptuous meal.

With a little over a year to go before our wedding, Adrin and I already arranged for the Pamanhikan this December. It’s the best timing as most of our folks are in holiday mode (and we hope that the cheery atmosphere of Christmas would ease some awkwardness. =P). We planned out for the time, date, and food they’ll bring, but we can never seem to grasp on what will actually happen on that day.

Adrin and his family arrived at our house half past 11, and we immediately set the table with dishes they brought and the ones we prepared. Soon, the two families had lunch altogether at our yard since we wouldn’t fit inside our tiny house.

Food brought by Adrin and his family: Hamonado, Chili Prawns, Caldereta,
Amber's Pancit Malabon, and Amber's Pichi-Pichi Cheese

Food prepared by my family: Barbecue, Embutido, Chocolate Lazy Cake,
Rice, and Buko Salad (no picture of the salad)

Our lunch

With happy tummies, and dishes already stowed, all of us took our spot in the yard, engaging in casual small talk. Adrin and I were already exchanging meaningful looks by this time, with me prodding him to open the much awaited discussion. Before we can even get things started, we were interrupted by the very fickle weather, so we had to move our tables in towards the roofed area. Several minutes passed and there’s still no sign of “the program”. I knew that my family is waiting for it already so with my impatience, I discreetly messaged Adrin “Huy! Ano na?”. I know it’s not really nice to pressure him but I think it’s what he exactly needed. Haha.

Small talk after lunch

His speech went something like this, “Nagpunta po kami dito ng family ko para kunin yung blessing ng family niyo sa pagpapakasal namin ni Tine”, and it was followed by fits of laughter from my mom because Adrin was talking in such a hurry maybe because of his nervousness. Haha. My mom answered him like this, “Alam na naman ng lahat na magpapakasal kayo e. Formality na lang naman ‘to.”, to which his father seconded with “No objection”. After that his grandmother also stated “Naayos niyo na naman lahat, kaya makikikain lang naman tayo dito. Para na rin magkakila-kilala tayo”. :)

During the "program"

Adrin initiated to share the details that we’ve already ironed out like church and venue, as well as the suppliers we’ve secured. They asked about the principal sponsor line up as well as the entourage. We shared our initial list and they in turn provided some suggestions to it. After the wedding details, Adrin also brought up our planned residence. We let them know that we’ve already reserved for a house near the area and that we plan to move there right after the wedding.

Since his folks came all the way from Marikina and Makati, somebody suggested visiting the place so they can see even just the model units. And so with Adrin’s family and my mom in tow, we visited the subdivision of our eventual home. It’s like we’re going on a field trip. Hihi.

Returning to our house after being gone for an hour or two, we’re delighted to find that snacks are ready for everyone. Having an afternoon’s fill, their family prepared to leave and head home.

Whew! Finally, it’s over. We believe it hasn’t been a very awkward gathering. Adrin and I just winged it! :)

Cheers!

Our Story Won!

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Won 3rd runner up that is, in The Wedding Library's Unique Love/Wedding/Proposal Story Contest. 

It was last August when I learned about this contest. I thought then that since we already wrote about our proposal story for this blog, might as well join the contest. Before sending our story, I first checked with Adrin if he's okay to have his blog entry submitted in a contest. I thought he'll be hesitant to join and submit his side of the story because of his booboo moment. I was wrong! Turns out he's perfectly okay with it since the story is already written and it'll just be minimal effort for us. Haha.

After seeking his approval, I tweaked the stories a bit and sent them by mid-August. When he asked me about the result 2 weeks after, I told him that the deadline for entry submission is until mid-September, and winners will be announced 2 weeks after that.

The month passed, and it was over last Thursday's dinner when Adrin remembered about this contest. I told him that I've yet to check if the winners are already out. As I checked the site of The Wedding Library that same night, I found the announcement for the contest's winners. Quickly skimming the page, it was sad not to our name in the list. BUT, after a thorough run through of the entire winners list, I FOUND OUR NAMES!!!

I hurriedly retracted to Adrin what I just reported regarding not winning. We were both really giddy and happy about it since it’s both our first time to join and win a story writing contest! Aside from the personal fulfillment (chos!) we got, we'll also get Php1,000 worth of products from The Wedding Library as our prize. Not bad right? 

I really think that this relationship, or partnership as I’d like to call it, really brings out the best in us. Read his and my side of the story and be amused. :))

Cheers!

His Proposal

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Pulling off surprises is something Adrin is not good at. I discovering his attempts on surprising me can be charged to various things – ranging from my nosiness, to his overwhelming excitement to tell me about it prematurely, or just a random minor accident. Who would have thought that wearing our IDs before getting into our office building will spill the beans for him?!  

As he may have already shared, I had the idea about the whole proposal thing on December 2011 when my ring, which he sneaked out, accidentally got caught in his ID’s lace and dropped on the floor right in front of me. That served as THE surprise. I completely had no idea that my friendship ring was with him. I thought it was just lying around somewhere at home. He must’ve seen how stunned I was after picking up that little thing which rolled to my foot. As soon as I recognized it, there’s no denying that I instantaneously supposed he’s on the move. =P Why in the world would he have that ring? What for? The shock was followed by fits of laughter because the look on his face confirmed my thoughts. He looked as astounded as I was and he was at a loss for words. He just resulted to laughter as well while saying “Bwiset, bwiset talaga!” Haha. I kept teasing him for the rest of that day and kept telling him that he has yet to plan for a successful surprise, one that I will not have any inkling of. =D

I did not exactly made the following days and weeks easy for him. Even when he flew for a two-week business trip, I would tease him about it. I’d take every chance there was, to bug and convince him to just tell me the whole story. But no explanation or prying from me made him completely let go of the surprise thing. I believe he still supposes that everything is not lost just yet.

With two upcoming occasions, our 3^rd anniversary in January and Valentine’s Day on February, I knew that the proposal didn’t have to wait any longer (Yes, I was that presumptuous. Haha). We decided for a day trip to Tagaytay-Nasugbu area for our anniversary. I made the reservations, with his approval of course (since he was out of the country), and planned how our day will go. The day came and I felt excited and anxious at the same time. It ought to be a totally relaxing day for us but at the back of my head I’m also nervous should he actually do his whole thing. We headed out, enjoyed really good food and had a relaxing massage. As our day was coming to a close, and without any sign of THE event, I thought to myself that maybe today is not the day and it will come some other time.

When we got home, we’re both amazed to learn that my whole family brewed a little surprise. I hurried him out of the car to check what’s in store for us as we opened our front door. We saw our pictures and balloons all over while everyone happily greeted us to share a toast to the occasion. A little chit chats here and there, and then we decided to get all the goodies we left in the car. My cousins and I were outside, waiting for Adrin to come and open the car, before we heard someone scream from the house. Curiously I walked in and peeped by the window to see what’s happening. There I saw Adrin talking to my mom and my aunts, and heard my aunt say “Si Ate Baby ang makakasagot niyan”. Realizing what I saw, I immediately stepped back and went outside again while my cousins excitedly joined everyone else inside.

I was there standing all alone by his car with my throbbing chest, and in my head I can only hear “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh! This is it! This is it!” After a few very long minutes, they finally went out again. My cousins have this certain smile plastered on their faces, Adrin was half-serious and half-smiling, while me trying to put on my poker face. Haha. We took all the goodies inside the house, had a few pictures taken, and settled down. One by one my family disappeared until it was just us two left in the living room. We recalled how our day went and he soon followed it with his lines while motioning to go down on one knee. Tears instantly streamed down my face, but I still took the chance to tease him a bit and gave a few laughs. Before he got to actually pop the question, we were surrounded by everyone again. He asked me, and with a few nods and a sheepish voice, I said YES. Adrin got to execute his whole idea afterall. =D

Cheers!

The Proposal

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‘Getting married’ is a normal topic between Tine and I – we are comfortably open and cheesy that way. :) We discuss what our ideal age to be married is, which churches would be in our short list, who will be part of our entourage and even where do we go for honeymoon. But we don’t go much into details as she would often step back and, with a slight hint of seriousness, ask me “Magpapakasal nga ba tayo?” To which I would usually just reply mischievously “Siyempre, conservative parents ko eh” with a grin. I knew for myself that the only way I can seriously address the question is if I propose.

My proposal didn’t turn out as a surprise despite my efforts to make it one. What happened is a scene you could imagine happening in chick-flick comedies but almost never in real life. It was a Monday morning nearing Christmas that Tine found out that I was planning to propose. We came from her house with the cupcakes we baked and boxed overnight to give out as Christmas trinkets for our officemates and friends. Before we entered our office building, we stopped to get our company ID’s from our bags. As I pulled out mine from my backpack, I felt something was caught by my ID’s lace. It completely slipped out of my bag and dropped on the floor. Ting ting ting. It made that sound as it rolled towards Tine’s foot. I froze seeing that what was rolling didn’t look like a coin. Tine stooped down and picked up the round metal thing that fell out of my bag. After a few heartbeats, with a partly-surprised-partly-mocking tone and a smile she asked: “Ano ‘to???” It was her tropa friendship ring which I sneaked out about two weeks ago from her bag to get her ring size. She immediately followed it up with “Bakit nasa’yo ‘to???”. I was still just standing there frozen and lost for words while screaming inside my head: NOOOOOOOO!!!!! That was it; she knew that I was on the move. I thought I might as well take advantage of my mishap, so I asked her if the ring perfectly fits well. It was a teeny bit big for her so I updated my notes on the ring. It was 4 months ago and it still makes us laugh reminiscing that booboo moment.

I initially intended to propose on Valentine’s Day – to add a special personal meaning to it (and consequently avoid feeling manipulated by the consumerist economy we are in – where society expects you to buy flowers and make restaurant reservations when their prices and bookings are at their peak). Unfortunately, it falls on a weekday and Tine wasn’t intending to file a leave on that day despite my sneaky conscious effort to sway her. So, I opted to propose on our 3^rd anniversary day – January 21, 2012. I already had the ring with me the 1^st week of January. And because of the booboo moment, keeping Tine unsure that I already had it consumed a lot of effort!

We planned a Tagaytay day trip to celebrate our 3^rd anniversary. This was our original itinerary:

               08:00 – 08:30                        Pink Sisters Convent (grab some goodies)

               09:00 – 10:00                        Bag of Beans (breakfast)

               10:00 – 12:30                        Caleruega Church

               12:30 – 02:30                        Buon Giorno (lunch)

   03:00 – 05:30                        Sonya’s Garden (massage)

   05:30 – 07:00                        Buy pasalubong

   07:00 – 08:30                        Pamana (dinner)

We pretty much followed through our planned itinerary with minor adjustments – we drove through McDonald’s for breakfast and went to Bag of Beans in the afternoon for a quick coffee stop after our massage.

At Caleruega

Opium Bed of Buon Giorno at Cliffhouse Tagaytay

Before we even set out for our trip, I already decided on where I would propose. Caleruega, Buon Giorno at the Cliffhouse, Sonya’s Garden and Pamana all setup a good ambience but I felt the desire to propose at a place that was meaningful for us. Also, knowing that Tine doesn’t want me proposing in a huge crowd because she might just be pressured to answer “yes”, I know that I should propose at a place where she feels comfortable and secure. I decided to propose in their house.

Tine’s family is simply the sweetest. It was already late when we arrived at their house. Everyone sleeps late in their house so we knew that everyone would still be awake. What we didn’t expect was that they prepared a sweet surprise for us. They had our pictures, love quote printouts, and balloons taped around their living room.

The Surprise

I was happy that I got Tine’s mom’s blessing before I actually proposed. Tine and her cousins went out to get the pasalubongs which we still left in the car. Before I went out, I talked with Tine’s mom and her aunts who were at the kitchen that time, told them I was planning to propose that day and I wanted to get their blessing. Her aunt said in a half-scream “Sabi ko na sa’yo Ate Baby [Tine’s mom] eh!” -- as if she predicted that I was going to propose soon. They seemed stunned and didn’t quite give me the blessing yet so I asked them “Ok lang po ba?” Her mom finally said “Bahala ka…” which sounded to me more than a yes than a no, (i.e. Bahala ka [sa buhay mo]!) So I took that as their blessing. :P

Waiting for the opportunity to propose was just nerve-wracking. After some time of awkward smiles to cover my nervousness, I finally found a chance. Everyone went out somewhere and we were the only ones left in the living room. With a cracking voice, I said my lines. She laughed heartily then started crying at the same time, she gave some nods, and then she finally said YES. We were engaged!

Putting a ring on it. :)

 

Cheers!